You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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