I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
4 words: hood of his car
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
