she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
