Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
