Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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