Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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