oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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