There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize