I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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