New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize