so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
