i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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