I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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