I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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