can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
