You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
