12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
