he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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