They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
