just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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