her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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