I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
