At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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