your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
