what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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