you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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