I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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