He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
