My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
