My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
