Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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