It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
