help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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