I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
