after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
