at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
