i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just high enough for therapy.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
