I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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