She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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