i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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