halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
