She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
