I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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