i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize