Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
