You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
