this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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