Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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