the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
