omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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