the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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