She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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