I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
