I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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