suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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