I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
