Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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