Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
