capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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