Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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