Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize