there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
